Monday, August 4, 2008

Live Bloggin' The NBA Finals

This was my first attempt at a Live Blog on this site on June 16 during Game 5 of the NBA Finals. Enjoy...

A few words before we begin:
I need work on my live blog skills after reading Jason Sobel's U.S. Open Live Blog, so I thought I would give it a go with an effort at live bloggin' the first half of the NBA Finals Game 5. I had originally intended to blog the pre-game show as well, but the U.S. Open ran well over and I was glued to the TV watching our old friend Rocco Mediate (A NATIVE PITTSBURGHER!) battle with El Tigre, and guess what? They get to battle again.
Even bigger news (actually not really): Tomorrow, while at work, I will make some kind of an attempt at (wait for it...) the simply spectacular live blog of.... A LIVE BLOG!!!! (Too many exclamation points? Perhaps.) That's right, I will be making a half-hearted (after all I do have to work, or at least appear to work, while I'm blogging this thing) attempt at live blogging Jason Sobel's live blog.
One Final Note, a Happy belated Father's Day to all those Dads out there.

9:07 I flip the tube on just in time for the tip-off. Funny, I thought this thing started at 9:00? Maybe they were trying to give the L.A. fans a chance to get into their seats before tip-off, but if that was the case, they would have delayed the start until 10:15.
9:10 Dick Bavetta is one of our refs for this evening! Is it a bad sign for the NBA that I keep expecting him to be served a subpoena at any minute? It certainly can't be good, right?
9:14 Ray Allen's jock falls off while he makes a half-hearted attempt at guarding Kobe Bryant, could be a long night for old man Ray if they keep putting him on Kobe, who is in serious "I'm going to kill everyone tonight" mode.
9:17 Pau Gasol just displayed the least initmidating adrenaline-rush scream in recorded history, narrowly edging that one time Mark Madsen dunked on someone (might have been Todd MacCullough, not sure). Seriously, though, can't Gasol clean up a little bit? Everytime I see him I expect someone to drop some loose change in his lap and he screams nonsensical obscenities at them (get it? Because he looks like a bum...)
9:18 18-5 Lakers as the Lake Show gets off to yet another scalding hot start as Boston appears to be under the distinct impression that they are still in warm-ups. Maybe it's because the stands are only 2/3 full. The good Doc calls a timeout about 2 minutes and 6 points too late.
9:22 Fascinating fact that was just shared with the viewership: Eddie House has played for 8 teams in 5 years! How does that happen? He's like Reggie Sanders only multiplied by 50. I know he's not exactly Jason Kidd out there, but DAMN! Does he even consider looking at apartments, let alone houses, when he's traded somewhere, or does he just automatically go to the nearest Hilton and keeps his suitcase half-packed at all times?
9:27 Yet again the good Doc takes a timeout roughly 5-6 points too late, but I don't know what he could really do short of sending Sam Cassell out there for the sole purpose of knocking Kobe unconscious MMA Style or maybe THEY COULD F-ING DOUBLE KOBE, who just so happens to have 13 points already.
9:32 KG's homicidal tendencies lead to his second foul and an ominous glare toward the referee, and he's now sitting on the bench.
9:34 Why in the world does ESPN get the first 9 holes of the U.S. Open playoff tomorrow? Sure, NBC gets the back 9, but why wouldn't the Peacock be getting the whole thing? I don't know how, but the 4-letter always manages to weasel their way into these sporting events? (Except, of course, the NHL).
9:36 39-22 Lakers after the first period, and a white hot Kobe has 15 already. Quick Break, back in a few.
9:44 And we're back after a quick delay there. Both nature and my girlfriend called there during that break, and both needed to be taken care of, but now that that's all wrapped up, it's back to the game.
9:47 Evidently when I hopped back into bed from the break, I bumped the remote control and inadvertently switched to a NBA D-League game, although there is an unusually large number of people there (though not TOO many there for it to be unreasonable), and both teams are still wearing the Laker and Celtic uniforms, so now I'm not sure. Right now, these are some of the players out there: Chris Mihm (evidently hasn't played a minute this entire post-season, so naturally with the Lakers on the brink this seems like a good time to bring him in, right?), Jordan Farmar, Trevor Ariza (who evidently isn't terrible), Tony Allen, and Sam "The Turnover Machine" Cassell. I mean, this has to be the D-League, right? Because there's no conceivable way all of these bums could possibly play at the exact time in the NBA Finals, right?
9:52 The chemistry on the Lakers right now could, at best, be described as toxic. After a highly questionable charge call goes against him, poor Ronny Turiaf looks to his teammates for some help in getting off the ground with his palms facing up and outstretched, and all of his teammates ignored him and walked the opposite direction.
9:54 We now have three fouls on KG and, when they went to break afterwards, I can only assume that Dick Bavetta was questioned by the FBI at the same time that scouts for Manchester United offered the world's most gifted flopper, Pau Gasol, a tryout next year.
9:58 Our First Kobe Bryant patented "Death Stare at a teammate" of the night. Very exciting. I can't believe this game has taken 51 minutes to get to this point. Of course, squandering another huge lead down to 43-39 almost justifies. Almost. I mean, he still is an awful human being.
10:00 We've now seen a stunning 4 different god awful promos for different ABC shows, and not a one looks even remotely watchable. One is even about surviving a Japanese game show! It's a show about another real show! That's like reading the live blog of a live blog! Wait, forget that last comment, it's actually not like that at all...
10:02 After further review, I realized the ridiculousness of that 9:54 comment after a conversation with my buddy Ben, who rightly pointed out that Manu Ginobli will now and forever be the single most gifted flopper we have ever seen.
10:06 After yet another flop that almost made me turn off the sport of basketball f0rever, a random thought popped into my head: What must European b-ball games look like? I mean, really, is it just a bunch of dirty looking dudes collapsing like they've been shot at every bit of contact? If so, how did that sport ever become popular over there? And how many fouls are called in a game if that's how they play? 100? 200? Does everyone foul out and the game just ends midway through the 3rd quarter? So many questions, so little time. Regardless, European brand of basketball is the second biggest reason I dislike the NBA right now, outside of, you know, that whole fixing games thing.
10:11 Someone woke up Jack Nicholson! He's yelling incoherently at the refs, but it might just be that he's having flashbacks to scenes from his past movies, and could think he's yelling at Leo DiCaprio in The Departed or something.
10:14 Hey! It's death stare numero deux for Kobe tonight.
10:16 55-52 Lakers at halftime, and I think they finally just got everyone into the Staples Center just in time to see the halftime entertainment. You've got to love the passion those Laker fans have! Anyway, I really don't care that much right now about this game, and since I can pretty much guarantee that the NBA won't let the Lakers lose tonight, I'm gonna pack it in.

It's been real Steel City, check back later for my U.S. Open blog-blog.

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