Keep Barry at Bay

In case you missed it, Bob "Smiley" Smizik (my nickname for him, not everyone's), penned an article in this morning's PG about why Bonds can't get a job, and how MLB is in collusion, and... zzzz...zzzzz... sorry I fell asleep just thinking about the article, so you can imagine the struggles that I experienced actually reading the thing.
Anyway, I felt it was necessary to respond to what Bob-O said with my own two cents and some logic and reason as to why the dreaded Barry Bonds is currently on the unemployment line.

Let's remove the collusion argument right here and now, because, frankly, it doesn't make any sense. Think about it for a minute: It's highly HIGHLY illegal for teams to be in collusion, whether it's against one player or all players, so naturally, even if the MLB bigwigs sent down a mandate about avoiding Bonds like the plague that he is, it would be easy enough for a team to ignore simply because MLB could do nothing to punish this team because MLB is the one acting illegally and any action they against said team would just risk it being exposed that the MLB ordered this collusion, a scandal that could destroy a sport that is already suffering serious health issues.

Along this same vein, do we really think that teams like the Yankees and Red Sox and Cubs and Angels are afraid of Bud Selig? Bud needs these teams, not the other way around, so him ordering them to act in any certain way is nothing short of laugable. Besides, I think we've seen just how much weight the Budster can throw around with disaster that is his slotting system. In case you aren't aware, baseball's slotting system was really designed to help out small markets and hamstring larger ones, but really, the exact opposite effect is happening as small markets play ball with the commish often times and get slammed by taking cheaper less talented players while big markets do whatever the hell they want and gain an even bigger competitive edge. So, yeah, I think that we can definitely throw out the notion that Selig is in some way forcing teams to ignore Barry Lamar.

So, then, if not collusion, then why isn't anyone signing Bonds Bomber? To be frank, the risks well outweigh the rewards. Could Barry come in, hit .280 with a .400+ OBP with a home run every 15 at-bats or so? Absolutely. Could he help sell out parks both home and away and make a team a bigger financial success while coming in at only around a million or so dollars in salary? Absolutely.

So, why then, is he unemployed?

It's simple: The man is too much of an a-hole. Any team that would consider him would be a contending squad, obviously, so they likely have at least decent chemistry and solid players who could make at least a competitive run without any more pieces already, and that's where Barry would cause problems. Is there any doubt that he would act in typical Bondsian fashion and be a selfish pig who draws a media circus at all times, that he will pout when he doesn't receive special treatment anymore like he did in San Fran, and that he will cause general discord and commotion in the clubhouse? It's not worth it, it truly isn't, at least in my mind, but if some team out there made the judgment that he is worth it (and they still might), then don't think for a second that they will worry in the least what the Big Bad Bud will do to them, because they won't. No, if a team out there think Bonds can be a difference maker in a good way and can help them contend, then they will make a move and sign him, because it's in their own best interests, not in the best interests of MLB.